Lip Plumper.. WTF (REVIEW)

seriously.. what the fuckIMG_2650

OKAY. So I bought this thing online because it looked similar to CandyLipz, and I wanted big ass Kylie lips. Why? Because I don’t have a fucking top lip HAHA (BLESSSSS LIP LINER).

This thing was like $8? Including shipping, so not bad. Beats $50 no doubt, so if it works MAYBE I could buy the CandyLipz.. but why would I if this works hahah

So, this is what it looks like. It isn’t anything special, just a normal rubber tomato thing. Still fucking weird to me. I guess no different than an apple, sort of. I’m not sure of the other, but the rubber on this one is fairly hard to squeeze at first. It has the little lip placement, pretty simple to figure it out.

It obviously came with it’s own instructions, but my stubborn ass chose to go by the ones online, videos, etc (although they’re almost exactly the same).

I started by drinking water (to keep hydrated.. it felt right) and moisturizing my lips with my rose salve. Nice. I made sure my lips were in the middle of the hole, pushed the tomato in and let it do it’s thing for 2 minutes.. at first. It came out funky to me, so I did it the reversed side to help my top lip out. Oh this fucker hurt haha. BUT my skin is extremely sensitive to pain and other pokes and such (no, it doesn’t poke you). My god did I drool. Everywhere. Even after it told me to not drool into it.

Here are the before/after pictures (sorry, taken on my P.O.S phone). Yes, part of my bottom lip is lopsided HAHA SHUT UP. Assholes. Anyway. The after is so ❤ Just lipstick, no liner!

My lips felt fucking STRAAAAAANNNGGGEEEE oh my god I thought the bottom was gonna fall off hahaha. Towards the end of the night, I got a hickey type mark (normal) but I covered it with makeup. And then my husband saw it the following morning and good lord did I get a LOOK LMAO.

Here are some more:

The one before is a minute or two AFTER the after, and the second is about 4 hours after that.. still full, but not insanely huge.

There’s a rest period of 2 days “required” after the first, most likely to let your lips heal after the traumatic shit you just put them through (for the real one, not this guy), but I may be a stupid ass and try it again after one. Lightly. A little. Sort of. ALRIGHT I’M GONNA DO IT. My lips went down already and I feel as white as my father is. Sorry, Dad.

SOOOO so far I really like this thing, it seems to work as well as the real one. I’m excited to keep using it and keep you guys updated! I’m sure you’ll see in photos, though. 😉

 

xoxo, kikis

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